The Productivity of Boredom - Welcome Back!

So im sitting in Islamic law class bored out of my mind and I thought, what does one do when one is bored in class? You update your blog! Kids, don’t try this at home.

This class will seriously be the death of me- my teacher is this tiny arab man who sits in a chair at the front of the class room – legs too short to reach the floor – and profounds on the evolution of Islamic law. He waves his arms and pauses at inappropriate moments for three – count that three hours. And mind you the very name of this class made me drool and im thrilled to be taking it but… but. and of course you have the requisite guy-everyone-imagines-taking-out-back-and-shooting in the class. This one’s like 3 feet tall with this abnormally small head. It really makes me want to squoosh it for some reason, monty python style. Except his face looks like someone else got to him first - All of his features have been placed maybe an inch or 2 too close to his chin –his non-existent chin - leaving a wide expanse of forehead that develops startlingly large wrinkles just above his eyebrows anytime he talks. Which is ALL THE TIME. I want to pull his stupid blue baseball cap down over his face and chuck him out the window. And I swear to god he’s wearing a toupe. I spend most of the class coming up with devious ways in which I could accidentally arrange for a giant hook -out of those toy vending machines. the ones that are impossible to beat? seriously its all a scam- to come out of the sky and pluck it off his head. And if its real hair then he would end up dangling from a giant hook protruding from the sky which would be almost as entertaining. I haven’t found a giant hook. but ill keep you updated.

Anyway sorry about the 4 month blog hiatus. Blogs are like hygiene. They don’t exist without routine. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? … Maybe hygiene was a poor choice of comparison since I would prefer to keep my friends. Exercise also works. But, well, so I spent the weekend in the desert being hardcore and bedoin-like. Now, one does not shower in the desert. In fact, one doesn’t really do much of anything in the desert beyond the occasional cleaning of one’s fingernails when one feels the need to demonstrate boredom. The art of demonstrating boredom is important even in bedoin culture. So hygiene seemed particularly relevant.

But I get ahead of myself. So… since my last blog. To do a total recap, I went to Sweden over eid holiday in october to visit mathilda and spent the 10 days I was there feeling very short and brunette. We watched grease, etc.
While I was in Sweden the youths of Egypt decided to rise up in large groups and exert their rights to grope unprotected females, and the Egyptian government decided to let them. Who needs personal responsibility when your society quite rightly lets you blame your actions on immoral females provoking uncontrollable lusts through inappropriate hip-movements? Seriously the American govt should really look into this. My world makes so much more sense now.
Sooo November meant I could dress modestly and not melt. Good times. Eight of us took a trip to Jordan over a long weekend. Very long story ask me about it sometime im too lazy to write it here. Winnie! visited in December. Official shout-out to her for braving terrorists and camels to come see her dear friend Rachel. Almost directly following that I went to Jerusalem with joey (exams were between the two but theyre sort of a formality at AUC. As is homework. And classes in general) and it was there at the holy of holies that I came to the conclusion that god doesn’t really exist. And decided to be a religious studies major. yay irony. Then I went home and quickly remembered why I had moved to Egypt as my toes turned blue in my cute shoes. And visited Stanford and developed intimate relations with parilee’s couch.

So now im back. Ive changed apts and im living in zamalek, an island on the nile. Im on the 21st floor of a building on the main street in a beautiful apt owned by the guy who writes nancy g___’s song lyrics (yes, he is my neighbor). The view is unbelievable – it actually gives the impression that cairo is an attractive city. My flatmates are both Norwegian with the adorable accents we all secretly wish we had. Damn yankee parents. We have weekly Norwegian lessons with a group of friends that involve Sweden-bashing and alcohol. We also go through about 10 eggs a day. Protein, yes. Also advantagious in that ive learned how to use my stove. Ill find me a husband yet!

Oh! And im going to iran over spring break. HOW COOL IS THAT. Although apparently Israel is negotiating with the US for a clear air-way over iraq in case they decide to bomb iran. As martine would say “wtf. Jesus in a bucket” which I think adequately describes my feelings on the matter. Hopefully they’ll hold off until after april 12th. Book recommendation: “We Are Iran” by…um… ill get back to you on that. It’s a collection of Iranian blogs. Absolutely splendiferous. Why aren’t I taking farsi again? Ill put that down on my list of things to do. After Hebrew. And before plumbing. Actually maybe before Hebrew. Iran rocks.

Anyway. Its half an hour before this lecture is supposed to end. Do you think I can leave now? Decisions decisions… it’s a small class so I wont be able to slip out without everyone noticing. But they’ll just assume I have something important to do. Ha. Like I ever have anything important to do. Yay Egypt. Oh god Stanford is going to eat me when I get back.