cigarettes and chocolate milk - these are just a couple of my cravings. everything it seems i like is a little bit stronger a little bit thicker a little bit harmful for me.
speaking of rufus wainwright i rode a motorcycle for the first time yesterday! and i know i know donorcycles straight from the devil 103% chance of fatality etcetc but dude it was FUN. motorcycles are sort of the thai version of taxis so we took one from the pier to the bus station. to be honest it was incredibly painful - my shoulders were virtually skinless by backpack strap at the end of the ride. but the pedels vibrate so your feet get all tingly and the wind is in your face and a number of other cliches about freedom and adrenaline and i know ill never buy a motorcycle but i might look upon the idiots riding around on them with a bit more understanding from now on... and mumkin in the far distant future when im feeling particularly mohawk and tatoo-esk... you never know. i bet a red motorcycle would go splendidly with those red heels i bought over break.
anyway so yesterday after a long day of traveling we...wait for it... got a massage. at the hilton. and it was, of course, maahvelous darling but around the time the woman started exfoliating my armpit i almost ruined it. i mean, i had managed to keep my cool through the little plastic underwear (i swear they looked like diapers) they gave us to put on. i even managed not to smile when the woman tried to help me dry off after the shower. but the exfoliation of the armpit was the last straw. there i was - butt naked on the massage table - totally unable to stop laughing. and this wasnt giggles. we're talking belly laugh here. im sure i was disturbing the peace or whatever. and everytime i managed to stop id immidiately think of WHY i was laughing and start all over again. i mean, it tickled so for sure that didnt help. but i am obviously far from sophisticated enough to be able to keep a straight face when a small asian woman is exfoliating. my. armpit. my urbane exterior was cracked, irreparably. im sure she had no more respect for me. EYE lost respect for me. i need to work on my maturity level here. i have far overestimated myself and i shall have to write to my highschool class and let them know that they might have misjudged who to dub 'most sophisticated'.
this will not, of course, keep me from going back tomorrow. you know i always say when you cant do something once, try try again! so i must, for the good of my character, go get another massage. after all im doing the masseuse a favor too. can you imagine their normal customers at a hilton in bangkok? yick. skeezy old white men. yick. remind me never to become a masseuse.
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