wouldnt you like to know

why do guys insist on having facial hair? i ask you, honestly. the curly mustaches, the perfectly trimmed beards, the not-so-perfectly trimmed beards, the partial beards that they obviously trim every morning into perfectly geometric shapes on their chins, the SIDE-BURNS oh god the side-burns. this is a public service announcement. you might think you look good. you might think youre being edgy and would fit right in with the art-nouveau crowd wearing all black and smoking cigarettes in a basement cafe that only those "in the know" go to. but trust me. from a girl who knows these sorts of things, (my past life was spent in just that sort of cafe before i got bored and genetically engineered the camel), you dont. oh, and it definately does not mask your weak chin. we can still see it! really. in fact, the hideous little hairs sprouting out of it just serve to draw MORE attention to it. so just stop trying. in fact, you should really revel in your ugliness. take advantage of what god gave you. go stop traffic or something. be the before picture in the before/after plastic surgery commercials. marry a chinless girl and have chinless children. or better yet, marry a chinless girl and dont have ANY children. stop the chinlessness!

anyway, on that note i apologize for being a blog failure. i do mean to write here. i write blogs in my head all the time. but then i tend to me a bit too lazy to actually write them. plus, i dropped my boring islamic law lecture, so i have no forcibly-free, (well, 'free') time to blog. but i will try to be better in the future.

currently i am in thailand. it is my spring break and going to iran didnt work out for a number of reasons the main one being that the iranian govt is being spiteful and kidnapping british soldiers and generally throwing tantrums that involve not giving americans visas. i mean, the american govt picks on everybody. so its your turn? get over it. aaanyway when we realized iran wasnt going to work out martine and i sat down for lunch and basically said something along the lines of

rachel: so what do you want to do then?
martine: i dunno. go somewhere else?
rachel: where?
martine: india?
rachel: south africa?
martine: kazakstan?
rachel: cambodia?
martine: thailand?
rachel: thailand.

so we bought tickets to thailand that afternoon and here we are. and we have 2 full weeks which is sort of sweet. of course it also means missing a week of school but what are taking years off for, after all. and my teachers understand. sort of. but we've been here for about a week and have spent a bit of time in bangkok getting lost and buying useless souvenirs, a bit of time in the south crisping ourselves senseless on the beach, and quite a bit of time traveling. but ive always liked the feel of going very fast over narrow, winding roads so im ok with that. (am i being serious? am i being sarcastic? wouldnt you like to know) most lately, we went to ranong (which is a city on the myanmar border - burma? what are we calling it these days? how i do love to be PC - and is quite possibly the ugliest place ive been, well, ever). we had an...interesting experience where our thai taxi driver sort of decided we should eat dinner with his family, so we did. after turning down whiskey, beer, and a number of types of drugs, and almost turning down "light" which i assumed was yet another sort of drug until it became clear they actually meant "rice" - silly me - we headed back to our ghetto hotel and martine proceeded to get a lovely little case of food poisoning. thats what we get for fraternizing with the locals.

today we made our way out to an island off the coast. lonely planet had described it as "off the beaten path" so we figured, hey. we live in cairo! we're hardcore! we shouldnt be doing what the NORMAL tourists do. we're going to go "off the beaten path"! well, when they say off the beaten path they mean OFF the beaten path. like, you cant even see the path from here. THERE IS NO PATH. instead, there are bungalows. these bungalows have beds. that is all. and we spent about 2 hour wandering the island in hopes of finding something a bit more...luxerious. a flushing toilet? maybe a fan. i mean, come on. is a fan so much to ask for in 100 degree heat? oh yes. yes it is. we are spoiled spoiled first worlders who have no right to ask for such frivolous amenities. for shame. i mean, the bungalows dont have ELECTRICITY. (notice the irony of me complaining about this via the internet. of course, this is probably the only computer on the island. and we have our own tiiiny little satelite up on the beach. adorable) oh, and english? yeah none of that either. how do we get off the island? god only knows. swim? oh, and martine and i finally make our way to the bungalow, collapse on the bed (after untucking the mosquito net, which we then promptly tucked back in, sort of interfering with our much-needed collapse) and look up to see the world's BIGGEST spider sitting up on the wall, watching us. we're talking like, the size of my hand here. and it lurked. and lurked. and is still lurking for all i know. martine went back to lie down so it has probably eaten her. oh oh oh and i forgot the best part! malaria. oh yes. apparently this area is quite malaria friendly. and we dont have mosquito repellant, never mind anti-malaria medication. but no big deal. i mean, what could possibly be a better reason not to turn in my 2000 word paper (due 24 hrs after i get back in cairo) than having MALARIA? am i right?

but yes. we made it hear safely. and will inshallah leave here safely tomorrow. morning. actually i probably wouldnt mind staying here a bit longer (i mean, its goorgeous. i just spent about an hour hanging out on the beach watching the sun set and listening to the shins. arent i emo. and hey, i can be hardcore. i have a backpack. im backpacking! im cool. ha.) but martine is still feeling off from the food poisoning so she doesnt want to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary. so we're heading up to hua hin tomorrow and we'll hang out there for a few days. where they have air conditioning. ah air conditioning... and fewer spiders. and more prostitutes, according to lonely planet, but hopefully they wont be lurking above our beds. did anyone ELSE know thailand is the sex-capital of the world? mumkin i should have done a bit more research...